How To Start A Conversation With A Girl For The First Time Without Getting Rejected Or Ignored…

There are many ways to start a conversation with a woman. If your vibe is right and/or you have attracted her so she approaches you first, you can open set any way you like (within reason).

To “open set” is to start a conversation with the intent of picking up a woman.

The best openers naturally lead to an interesting conversation.

Below I’ll share a few ways my clients and I have successfully opened set.

Let’s jump right in…

Direct Open

Direct opens are easy, versatile, and appropriate for many different approach angles.

Plus, going Direct is just a strong way to open set.

So here’s your open… Walk up to her and say:

– Excuse me, I noticed you here and I knew if I didn’t come over and introduce myself, I’d never get a chance to meet you. My name is ___. 


– Excuse me, I saw you over here and I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say hello. My name is ___.

Story Open

Amazing Day

– I just had the most awesome day… (Tell her about it). And now I met you.  Couldn’t get any better!

By the way, your “awesome day” story really does need to be awesome.  Feel free to tell her about an awesome day you had in the past.


I’m In Love!

– Hi, how are you? (Let her respond) I couldn’t be better… I’m in love. (Let her respond)

Thank you… It was love at first sight. The second I saw her I knew. What I love most about her is the fact that she’s more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. And on the outside, she’s… breathtaking. 

Let me show you a picture. (Find the pic on your phone)

You’re not going to believe how gorgeous she is…  Prepare yourself… Are you ready… This is going to be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen… (Show a pic of a musical instrument, a puppy, your newborn niece, you get the idea) Isn’t she beautiful. I love her so much…

I’m a drummer so I use this open with a picture of a drum set. It never fails to get a laugh and a big smile. This is also an effective open for sets of 2 or more people.

Joke Open

This type of open isn’t my style, but using cheesy pick-up lines to get a laugh does work if it fits your personality:

– Excuse me miss, I know this is going to sound a little strange, but I know what your perfect lover looks like.  Well, I see his face in the mirror every morning when I shave.


– Excuse me miss, the spirits have been talking to me.  The spirits are showing me a 10-digit number that’s the absolute key to your happiness. (Show her your number on your cell)


– Hi, my name is Prince Charming.  I heard you were looking for me.

When she laughs, say:

– I’m glad you laughed because I noticed you here and I wanted to meet. My name is___.

Here’s a Joke Open I have used with great success…

It’s called “Dating For Dummies”. Here’s how it works…

Get the book, “Dating for Dummies” on Amazon. Itʼs bright yellow and black so it’s hard to miss.

Find the page titled “NEVER USE THESE LINES” and keep the book open on this page. (I forget the exact page… I think it’s page 78.)

Walk up to a girl and BLATANTLY hold the book up in front of your face so she can easily read the title. She might start laughing, depending on how you do it.

Then slowly lower the book and read the lines… “So… come here often” in your best player voice.

She will crack up and answer you.

Quickly bring the book back up and read the next line… “Whatʼs your sign?” She will laugh again and probably answer.

Then I usually say, “Wow… this works great. Your turn”. Then hand her the book so she can use one of the pick-up lines on you.

You can flip to random pages and do tons of role-playing. The breaking up stuff is awesome.

You can also use the book “Flirting For Dummies” if you wish.

This Open Never Fails…

After 10 years as a Dating Consultant, I can tell you with absolute certainty: Using a Compliment Open never fails.

Give her a sincere compliment without wanting or needing anything in return. The intent is NOT to impress her but to give a genuine compliment because that’s the kind of person you are.

Also, please don’t compliment her physical beauty on an initial approach, like… “Dang girl you got a big o’ booty!”

That’s no good…

If every girl looked exactly the same, what about her makes you want to start a conversation?

Use the answer for your compliment.

Her smile, her personality, her energy, or her style in general, are good to compliment.

Here are my 3 favorite Compliment Openers:

1) Compliment Assume (CA)

Give her a sincere compliment then ask a question in the form of an assumption. Turn your questions into assumptions.

What do you do for a living? => You seem like you could be a schoolteacher.

Where are you from? => You seem like a Florida girl.

What do you do for fun? => I bet you enjoy bar hopping and clubbing.


2) Compliment Expand (CE)

Give her a sincere compliment then expand on the compliment with more detail:

– That is a beautiful dress. It looks amazing on you.


3) Compliment Question (CQ)

9 out of 10 times, this is how I open. Give her a sincere compliment then ask a question:

– That is a cute work outfit.  Or is that just how you dress when you come to Walmart?

– You have the most beautiful energy about you. Do you practice yoga or meditation?


An amazing conversation consists of three parts: An Open, a Conversation, and a Close (OCC for short).

Now that you have a strong Open, all you need is the Conversation and the Close.

By “Close” I mean exchange contact info or schedule a second meeting (aka ask her out).

There you have it… I hope this helps. Feel free to reach out with any questions. God Bless!

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