How To Approach Women (20 Surefire Tips)

Below you will find 20 tips for approaching women. Each tip builds on the last. So combine them all to create a comprehensive strategy to approach women and get more dates…


1) Sobriety

Control your state of mind. Be completely sober when approaching women.  You are an adult, so you are capable of making your own decisions. But I strongly discourage the use of “liquid courage” when approaching women. 


2) Expect Success

– Keep your house clean (bed made, sheets clean)

– Have food and drinks on hand for house guests

– Carry business cards with your contact information (

– Have condoms

– Be prepared for sex in your car, her car, in a bathroom stall, your place, her place, on the beach, etc.


3) Preparation

– Before approaching take a deep breath, relax, open your heart and feel you are connected to her

– Approach with a giving attitude – you don’t want or need anything from her

– Be present when approaching (Be completely in the moment)

– Expect the interaction to go well

– Visualize her positive response


4) Vibe

– Your vibe (the energy or feeling you give off) will make or break your approach

– Confidence or “swag” attracts women on its own

– Your body is constantly giving off energy and other people can feel it, especially women

Examples: Have you ever known someone was angry without them saying a word? Or have you ever liked or disliked a person immediately? If so, you felt that person’s vibe.

In short, be in a positive state of mind before approaching women.

On Approach

5) Body Language

– Move slowly

– Be chilled (relax)

– Smile authentically


6) Trap

If she can’t escape, don’t approach. Chat up the people around her, then approach.

In Set

A “set” is a person or group of people you approach with the intention of picking up a girl.

7) OK To Do

Flirt, have swag, be serious, sincere, playful, funny, strong, a leader, understanding, and confident.


8) NOT OK To Do

Be arrogant, hostile, argumentative, abusive, needy, negative, insane, insecure, or a pushover. These are all attraction killers.


9) Time Constraint

Always get permission and use a time constraint before sitting down with a target.

Example: “I can’t stay long my friends are waiting for me…”


10) Body Language (In Set)

– Be like James Bond

– Move slow

– Talk slow

– Chill out, be completely relaxed, you’re not in a hurry

– Have good posture

– Use hand gestures


11) During Set

Be present, quiet your mind, and focus on your set.


12) Rapport

– Talk to her like you would talk to a close friend

– Replicate the vibe you have with your best friends

– Behave like you are both already friends


13) Assumptions

– Assume she’s into you and wants you sexually

– Assume the best possible outcome

– Assume the leadership role

– Assume everyone’s your friend

– Assume you share an amazing connection with your target right from the start


14) Attention

– Expect NOT to be interrupted

– If other people can hear – let them hear

– You’re high value – you don’t care what other people think


15) Mentality

– You’re in set for you – not your target

– You’re in set to entertain yourself  

– You’re just expressing yourself

– This is your reality and she is your guest

– You’re just being social and having fun

– You’re not trying to please her

– You’re screening her to see if she measures up

– Be who you are and own it (gentleman, loving, caring, bad boy, comedian, nerd, techie, whatever)


16) Speak Up

Speak your mind. If you disagree say so. No need to hide your true feeling in an attempt to please her… or anyone else for that matter.


17) Decide

– Be decisive when decisions need to be made (ordering, when and where to meet or go, etc)

– You are the man – you make the decisions, but her input is ok and welcome


18) Use Emotion

– Make her feel something. Women absolutely crave men to come up to them and make them feel something.

– Ignite her imagination and emotions with an amazing conversation.

– It’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it.

– Speak with passion, excitement, confidence, or knowledge.

– Women are not turned on by what you talk about.

– They’re turned on by HOW you talk about it.


19) Tonality

Don’t raise the pitch of your voice.


20) Pace

– Talking slower with pauses increases attention

– When approaching slow way down

– Use bigger pauses when you speak (This portrays HIGH VALUE)

Three Bonus Tips…

21) End First

– End the conversation first.

– If you decide to get her contact info or schedule a date, end all communications and meetings first.

– Always end first unless you are executing an immediate date, bounce back, or phase shift.

– This communicates the fact that you are not needy.

– Keep ending first and you’ll get amazing results. People want what they can’t have. It’s human nature!


22) Her Response

– Be ok with her first reaction (positive or negative)

– Be non-reactive to any negativity

– Have emotional strength – you’re not affected by anything she says or does

– If you encounter negativity, always respond with compassion: “Whatever’s bothering you I hope you find peace.”

– Her first response may have nothing to do with you.

– Her response will have a lot to do with what she is thinking, feeling, and experiencing in that moment and in that environment.


23) Congruency Test

Definition: she says or does something offensive to see how you respond

Reaction options:

– Ignore her (pretend as if she didn’t say or do anything)

– Change the subject.

– Put her on a ‘point’ system or ‘strike’ count. Say playfully, “That’s strike one – Three strikes and you’re out.”

– Respond with humor:

“I don’t hit girls, but I will tickle you until you pee your pants.”

“Do you treat all guys like this or just guys you’re attracted to?”

 That should be enough to get you started. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed making it for you! God bless you… See you soon.

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