Dating After Divorce: A Divorced Man’s Guide To Getting Dates

After my divorce, I was out of the game so long I didn’t know what to say or do to get back into the dating world.  If you’re in the same situation, these 9 steps are for you:

Step 1: (Your Vibe)

First, cultivate a vibe of swag and confidence women can’t resist. This will result in women approaching you first. If you’re not sure how to do this check out one of my other posts. In the meantime, use paralanguage.

Paralinguistics are the aspects of spoken communication that do not involve words. They add emphasis or shades of meaning to the spoken word. 

When approaching a woman, it’s not what you say. It’s your vibe and how you say it.

Here are a few tips on how to use paralanguage:

• Tonality – don’t raise your pitch
• Talk slower with pauses to increase attention
• When approaching slow way down – use bigger pauses (This gives you HIGH VALUE)
• Expect NOT to be interrupted
• If other people can hear – let them hear
• You’re high value – you don’t care what other people think
• Talk with passion
• Use hand gestures
• Smile authentically

Step 2: (Find Her)

You may be limited on where you can prospect for women because of Covid, but don’t let that stop you.  I meet women all the time at the only two places I go… the gym and the grocery store. 

Keep in mind you can run into someone you want to meet anywhere, a gas station, the bank, literally anywhere. So be prepared.

To increase the chance of meeting someone new, change the days and times you do things. Go to different churches, gyms, grocery stores, etc. Go to new places. Do activities you enjoy. And try new activities.

Step 3: (Meet Her)

When you see someone you’d like to meet, you’ll need to open (start a conversation).

Let’s keep it simple…

Approach her and say, “Excuse me I noticed you here and I realized if I didn’t say something, I’d never get to meet you. My name is __.”

Step 4: (The Conversation)

Next, create an emotional connection through deep, meaningful conversation. I like to use something in the moment for my topic of conversation. If that’s too much of a challenge, here’s an easy solution…

Go to youtube and learn palm reading. (I have an awesome palm reading routine.  Maybe I’ll share it with you in another post.)

Follow your open with, “I’ve been studying palm reading. May I see your palm?” Then read her palm.

How many times in her life do you think a man has approached her with a confident vibe, a direct and honest open, an authentic smile, and asked to read her palm?

My guess is, never. She’ll be completely captivated.

Step 5: (The Close)

Now it’s time to close.  Personally, I close a meet-up (a date) in the future, or an immediate date which leads to a “bounce back” to my place.  Or I’ll invite her to an event I’m having.

For now, I’ll give you two closing options:

Here’s a Number Close: “I have to run but how can we continue this conversation?”

Only number close if you have text game.  If not, close a meet-up…

Here’s a Meet Up Close: “I have to run but I would like to get to know you better. I’m having a small get-together at my place on Sunday. You should come.”

Use this template to create your meet-up close: “I’m [doing this cool thing] on [date]. You should come.”

Step 6: (The Date)

For the first date, I have a few routines that are awesome.  Women really enjoy them but they’re too advanced to share with you here.  So I’ll give you something you can use now to start a fun conversation on your date:

“You seem like the kind of person who likes to learn about herself, right? (Let her respond) Are you a roller, a folder, or a thrower? (She’ll give you a confused look and ask what you mean) Ok, we’re going away on your dream vacation.  Our suitcases are open.  Do you roll your clothes, fold them, or just throw them in?”

After her answer:
“You’re a folder – well I’m a roller.  Rollers and folder usually don’t get along unless there’s some kind of chemistry here.”

Follow with a fantasy vacation question:
“If money, time, and the law were no problem, where would we go?”

Follow up question:
“What do you think we would enjoy most when we got there?”

As her to take you with her as she describes her dream vacation:
“Wait…take me with you… so what time do we arrive? What are we wearing? What are we doing?”

Share every element of this imaginary experience with her.

This is important:
During the date, talk about something she will need to come back to your place to see. This will give you a legitimate reason to go back to your place.

Step 7: (The Stage)

You’ll need to “stage” your place for company before having a girl over. Be sure to leave lights on so she doesn’t have to walk into darkness.

Stock up on food and drinks. Make sure your place is clean and smells nice. The bed should be made with clean sheets. Have toiletry items in the bathroom. Make sure your place feels warm and inviting.

Have romance novels and books about relationships and sex on display. This book is a must-have for the coffee table: “How to Live with a Huge Penis” by Richard Jacob.  You can get it at Amazon.

Step 8: (Seduction)

When you get to your place, use a time constraint if you have one. (You should have one!)

Here’s an example: “You can come in but you can’t stay long.  I have to get up early tomorrow.”

When she comes in, give her a tour.  Then show her whatever she came to see.  Because of the books on display, the conversation will inevitably turn to sex.

From there, show her how to do Tantra.  (Tantra is like having sex spiritually and emotionally, not physically – extremely powerful.)

During tantra, sex happens naturally… The physical kind.

Step 9: (Repeat)

Repeat the steps above as needed to meet and date women until you’re in a committed relationship. (If that’s what you want.)

If you’re looking for “the one” be patient.  It can take time.  Just have fun, enjoy your freedom, and date lots of women to prevent settling.

Here’s how to make success inevitable when it comes to women and dating: