Dating Advice For Divorced Men

In my 10 years as a Dating Consultant, I’ve noticed all client divorce stories are the same as my own.

Before getting into the dating profession, I went through a terrible divorce which left me physically, mentally, and spiritually broken.

Below, I’ll share the stages we all go through as a marriage ends.

Before we’re done, you’ll discover an easy way to prevent bickering and stop arguing before it starts so you can grow together instead of growing apart in your next relationship.

You’ll also find out how to let go of all the emotional baggage and pain that comes with divorce.

Let’s take it from the top…

As you know, a marriage doesn’t just disintegrate overnight. Divorce is the result of a relationship falling victim to The 4 R’s: Resistance, Resentment, Rejection, and Repression.

Resistance occurs when you notice yourself taking exception to something your partner does, says, or feels.

Resistance leaves you feeling irritated and annoyed. You’re critical of your partner’s actions.

This becomes a problem when you deal with your feelings by ignoring or minimizing the issue.

Left unchecked, Resistance grows into the second R…

Resentment is a more developed state of Resistance. Now you no longer feel merely annoyed by something your partner does… you can’t stand it!

Resistance makes you feel annoyed, but Resentment leaves you feeling angry, hostile, and unloving. At that moment, you begin to separate from your partner and retreat behind your emotional walls.

Allowing the irritation of Resistance to grow into the anger of Resentment is the beginning of the end.

Rejection is the 3rd R. In this stage, you separate from your partner emotionally and/or physically.

It begins when so much Resistance and Resentment have built up that you can’t stay emotionally connected to the other person.

In this third phase, your sex life deteriorates or disappears entirely… Which is the pathway to infidelity.

Somehow, I was able to avoid cheating…. my ex was unable or unwilling to do the same.

Repression is the F it stage. You consciously or unconsciously repress all your negative emotions, numbing yourself to them in order to be comfortable.

You enter this stage when you are tired of Resisting… tired of Resenting… and tired of Rejecting.

When my relationship hit the Repression phase, I found myself having thought like…

“F it… I don’t care anymore.”

“It’s not worth fighting over.”

“It doesn’t really matter.”

“I’m too tired to deal with it.”

My clients have shared similar thoughts…

“We have to make this work for the sake of the kids.”

“Everyone has these problems, so let’s just deal with it.”

“We need to keep up appearances for the church, my employer, our neighbors, whoever, so let’s just act civilized.”

When you reach Repression, emotional numbness will infect your entire life.

You lose your liveness, passion, and vitality. You’re left feeling detached, uninspired, or bored. This will often lead to fatigue and a lack of energy.

Unfortunately, when you repress painful emotions, you also repress positive emotions like love, happiness, and joy.

If a couple is exceptionally good at Repression, they can stay in an unhappy, loveless married for the rest of their lives…