5 Mistakes That KILL Sexual Attraction
Here’s the harsh truth: People who are successful with the opposite sex aren’t lucky. They follow a certain set of steps ANYONE can follow to get the same results. Unfortunately, these steps are not common knowledge.
So I’m going to reveal the top attraction killing mistakes you must avoid… 5 for single men, 5 for single women, and 5 for relationships.
Each of these 3 sections starts with an image so you can easily scroll to your desired topic.
First up, single guys…
SINGLE MEN MISTAKES (SM)
(SM) Mistake #1: Approach Anxiety
Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a beautiful woman make you nervous?
If so, you’re not alone…
Harris Interactive in conjunction with the international dating site Anastasia Date conducted a research study that concluded:
• Men age 35-55 with at least some graduate school education are likely to have trouble starting a conversation with women they meet for the first time.
• And men age 35-55 with an associate or bachelor’s degree are likely to be intimidated to speak to a woman for the first time when she is surrounded by her friends.
Luckily, fear and nervousness around women can easily be eliminated with the use of a Release Technique (RT).
There are many RTs, but they all lead to the same result. They liberate your natural ability to let go of negative emotions on the spot.
Quantum physics teaches us that everything is energy. Even our emotions.
What we think of as emotion is the experience of energy moving through the body.
Negative emotions like fear are uncomfortable, so when we experience them, we suppress these feelings instead of allowing them to completely pass through the body.
Negative emotions are not good or bad. They are just energy wanting to be released.
RTs allow for this release to happen so you no longer experience fear, worry, anxiety, hate, anger, jealousy, sadness, or any other negative emotion.
To learn more, check out “The Abundance Book” by Lawrence Crane.
(SM) Mistake #2: Target Selection
As a guy, you know it can be tempting to select targets based solely on appearance. I can tell you from experience, this approach is a great way to stifle attraction.
Let’s face it, no matter who you are or how skilled you are at pickup, you can’t have EVERY woman. Which is fine because you don’t want every woman.
Because of target selection, I have a 100% success rate picking up women. And so can you!
How? By using intuitive guidance to select targets. Intuition is NEVER wrong.
To develop intuition, use it to make as many minor decisions as possible… Like deciding what to eat, where to shop, and when to commute.
Keep a journal of your results. This will help you recognize intuitive guidance so you can use intuition for life’s most important decisions.
Once you get accustomed to following intuition, you will pick the right targets 100% of the time, thereby maximizing attraction.
(SM) Mistake #3: AFC Conversations
AFC stands for Average Frustrated Chump. AFC topics of conversation include questions like: “Where are you from?” “Where did you go to school?” “What do you do for a living?” blah, blah, blah…
If she’s attracted to you already, then yes, you can have a mundane conversation and still be successful.
But if she’s attracted to you AND you sweep her off her feet with an amazing conversation, all closing options are at your disposal…
Including the Immediate Date Close… Which can easily lead to sleeping with her the first day you meet.
AFC small talk doesn’t spark attraction but women do find wit and humor incredibly attractive.
This happens to be a well-known fact that has been verified by dozens of research studies.
Many of these studies are referenced in the book “Mating Intelligence Unleashed” by Glenn Geher Ph.D. and Scott Barry Kaufman Ph.D.
Yes, you could talk about the weather, ask about her job, where she’s from, or just stand there in awkward silence wondering what to say next…
Or you could use wit and humor to create a powerful sexual tension and get her aroused with a simple conversation.
Then close like a winner!
By “close” I mean exchange contact information, schedule a second meeting (aka ask her out), or go on an immediate date.
(SM) Mistake #4: Bad Vibe
For women to find you attractive, nothing is more important than your vibe (the energy you give off).
Creating an attractive vibe is a simple two-step process…
Step (1) use a Release Technique as we discussed in (SM) Mistake #1 to rid yourself of all negative emotions.
Step (2) Practice Mindfulness to magnify the emotions you have left… Namely love, peace, and joy.
To be Mindful is to bring your awareness to the present moment.
I’m not exaggerating when I say being Mindful is the best possible use of your time.
The EOC Institute has identified 141 benefits to Mindfulness…
Including fat loss, increased libido, more success, increased intelligence, accessing the “Flow” state, enhanced intuition, overcoming shyness, slower aging, longer lifespan, and peace of mind.
I should send them an email so they can add “Pick Up Chicks” as benefit #142.
Business Insider cited a recent study published by Science Direct that concluded women tend to be more attracted to men who are high in Mindfulness.
(SM) Mistake #5: Shit Test Reaction
When you approach a woman, be OK with her first response – good or bad. If it is bad, don’t react.
Once you adopt RT’s and Mindfulness this won’t be an issue.
If she has a negative reaction to your approach, always respond with compassion by saying something like, “Whatever is bothering you, I hope you find peace”.
Her response will have a lot to do with what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing at the moment, and may have nothing to do with you.
She could also be testing you…
A Congruency Test (or Shit Test) is when a woman gives a guy a hard time to see how he will react.
Upon first meeting, she may test to make sure you’re not a weirdo. Then she may test to see if you’re really as cool as you seem. She may also test to see if you are a good provider or lover.
If you have a positive response to her test, attraction will skyrocket.
If, however, you get offended or seem affected by her actions, attraction will plummet.
The test itself isn’t important. What’s important is how you react to the test.
To pass, all you have to do is remain unmoved. Never let her change your frame.
No matter what, ALWAYS respond with positivity and compassion… Or don’t respond at all.
Next up, single women…
SINGLE WOMEN MISTAKES (SW)
(SW) Mistake #1: Desperation
We have never met, but my intuition tells me you are an incredible person. So there’s no need to settle for less than you truly want in a relationship.
Enter a relationship on your terms. Not out of desperation, but because you choose to share your amazing life with a partner.
Of course, relationships, people, and things can be A source of happiness. But if they become THE source of happiness, you will always be unhappy.
THE source of happiness (true happiness) comes from within, despite all external circumstances, conditions, or relationship status.
To make inner happiness your reality, just implement the solutions for (SM) Mistakes #1 and #4 above and you will achieve inner bliss with ease.
(SW) Mistake #2: Impatience
I used to be a Women’s Dating Coach. I was also an Executive Matchmaker for a prestigious firm in Los Angeles.
So I understand your urgency to find that special someone. Women have very real deadlines that most men don’t fully appreciate.
That being said, nobody finds impatience attractive. Especially not men when it comes to relationships.
To avoid this costly mistake, I’m going to share a list of Responsibilities to ensure you always convey confidence and never appear impatient.
For commitment, men and women have separate lists of Responsibilities.
This is important because doing even one of the things on a man’s list could end a relationship before it has a chance to get started.
Here are some of the items on HIS Responsibility list:
– Initiate relationship conversations by asking questions like, “So, what are we?”
– Ask about the status of the relationship
– Ask for a definition of the relationship
– Make excessive communications by phone, text, email, or social media
– Sit around waiting for a call, text, email, or DM
– Assume exclusivity before getting a commitment
– Assume you’re in a relationship before getting a commitment
– Assume the true feelings of the person you are dating before the person actually says the words
Again, you will NEVER do these things.
Your list includes:
– Having fun
– Being your best self (whatever that is for you)
– Creating the circumstances for him to eagerly complete the items on his list
– And enjoying life!
(SW) Mistake #3: Failure To Initiate
• Glamour Magazine
• Dr. Daniel José Gaztambide (a practicing psychotherapist in New York City)
• Dr. Les Parrott (professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of “Crazy Good Sex”)
• and Me
These 4 authorities have one thing in common: they all agree that failing to initiate is one of the biggest mistakes women make.
There are a million reasons a guy may not approach you… And many of them have nothing to do with you.
With a Rejection Free Approach, you can make the first move without fear of rejection. So you’re not stuck waiting for him to do it.
Here’s how it works…
It can be the lamest pick-up line in history, it doesn’t matter. You’re not asking him out. You’re just being friendly.
Have some standard approaches in mind before going out so when you see a guy you want to meet, you don’t struggle to find something to say.
You can use the same one every time. Guys will never know.
Ask a question, like:
– Hey, do you go to my gym?
– Did you go to my high school?
– Can you take a picture of me and my friend?
OR ask him to hold something for you (an umbrella or jacket) while you get something out of your purse.
If he doesn’t continue the conversation after your approach, you can.
If he doesn’t close at the end of the conversation, you can… Without looking desperate or needy.
By “close” I mean exchange contact information or schedule a second meeting.
Adding a Rejection Free Approach to your daily routine will increase the number of suitors competing for your affections. Thereby increasing your options.
Having more options will prevent you from settling. Options also make you more confident, and therefore, more attractive.
(SW) Mistake #4: Poor Time Management
Poor time management can lead to prolonged dating with no commitment in sight.
As you know, one of the responsibilities on your list is to create the circumstances for him to eagerly complete the items on his list.
You can accomplish this by doing one thing… Leave.
When you’re on a date, you’re both having a great time, and the date hits a climax… Leave.
When you meet for coffee and things start to heat up… Leave.
When you’re on a phone call and the conversation starts getting really good… End the call.
When you’re texting and it starts getting really interesting… Stop texting.
End all meet-ups, dates, calls, and text communications at the Height Of Excitement (HOE).
Always leave or end communication on a high note. Leave him wanting more.
There’s no need to explain where you’re going, what you’re doing, or who you’re with.
If he asks, say, “I didn’t realize we were dating each other exclusively. Should we talk about it?”
If you do this correctly, you’ll have him eating out of your hand.
You’re setting up a dynamic where he can’t wait to see you again.
You’ll have him begging to spend time with you… Making him much more likely to commit.
(SW) Mistake #5: Poor Benefit Management
Pressuring a guy to propose is a huge attraction killer.
Instead, get him to propose by managing the availability of your Relationship Benefits…
As a woman, there are a unique set of benefits you bring to a relationship. Like affection, time, and attention, for example.
Managing the availability of these benefits is the key to getting a proposal. Here’s a Benefit Manage Schedule to get you started…
Dating Benefits: Smiling at him, flirting, hugging, dancing with him, kissing on the cheek.
With the following restrictions: limited time, limited attention, no weekends, no spending the night, leave at the Height of Excitement (HOE).
If asked, tell him you’re not comfortable sharing any other benefits until you’re in a committed relationship.
Committed Relationship Benefits: All Dating Benefits plus kissing on the lips, more time, more attention, weekends OK, still no spending the night, HOE restriction lifted.
If asked, tell him you’re not comfortable sharing any other benefits until you’re married.
A 12-month time restriction also applies. If he doesn’t propose within 12 months, time to move on.
Please don’t assume you’re in a committed relationship. “Assuming you’re in a relationship before the other person actually says the words” is on a man’s responsibility list.
He makes assumptions like this, not you.
Also, he can’t just say the words. To be in a relationship his words and actions must match!!!
Marriage Benefits: After marriage, all benefits are available and there are no restrictions. Now, and only now, you can live together, have sex, and have children. Yes, you can finally spend the night!
Last but not least, relationships…
RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES (R)
(R) Mistake #1: Familiarity
The Rule of Familiarity says you will eventually start to take for granted the people and things in your day-to-day life.
This is an unfortunate mistake with a simple solution… Spend time apart so your partner can miss you.
Even if you’re married, your spouse should still miss you sometimes.
Have girls’ night out and guys’ night out at least once a month.
Take trips with family and friends. Let your partner do the same.
If trust is an issue, here’s a rule to live by: Give the person you love honesty, respect, trust, and passion or be prepared to watch from the sidelines as someone else does.
Please don’t allow mistrust to stand in the way of the growth time apart can bring to your relationship.
Mistrust is based on assumptions… Which leads nicely to the next mistake…
(R) Mistake #2: Assumptions
Once upon a time, there was a blind girl filled with anger. She hated herself and her life because she couldn’t see.
The only person she loved was her boyfriend because he was always there for her.
One day, her boyfriend proposed. To which she replied, “if I could only see the world, I would marry you!”
A few days later, someone donated a pair of eyes to the girl. After a successful medical procedure, she had perfect vision.
Her boyfriend asked, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, so she refused to marry him.
He walked away in tears.
Later he wrote a letter to her saying, “just take care of my eyes, dear”.
The End.
Moral of the story… in a relationship, questions are better than assumptions.
(R) Mistake #3: No Date Night
Put time aside and dedicate yourself 100% to communicating with your partner.
To accomplish this, schedule a weekly date night. Your date doesn’t have to be at night but it does need to happen weekly – no exceptions.
Also, change things up. Make your dates fun, exciting, and adventurous.
Go to different places, do different things, and take trips together. Take a fun class together that you both would enjoy, like cooking, yoga, or salsa dancing.
During your date, be present. Your partner should truly feel like they are your number one priority and have your full attention.
This is important. Don’t let complacency threaten the foundation you and your partner have built together.
(R) Mistake #4: Unmet Needs
What is a healthy relationship? It’s two people making each other’s needs their own. The more you do this, the more fulfilling the relationship becomes.
What are your partner’s core relationship needs?
Praise? Respect? Intimacy? Passion? Happiness? Communication? Honesty? Trust?
How do they want these needs met? Through touch, words, or something else?
Fortunately, there is an easy way for you and your partner to happily fulfill each other’s most important relationship needs.
Here’s a free PDF for “The Ultimate Playbook” that lists 168 Relationship Requirements to help you and your partner identify the top 4 needs that most closely match your deepest desires.
Once you discover which needs matter the most to both of you, you’ll know how to communicate with each other in a way that fosters a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.
(R) Mistake #5: Problems & Disagreements
Every problem is a gift, without problems we would not grow.
Here’s how to use relationship problems and disagreements as an opportunity to push forward and grow together with your partner…
The second you experience the slightest irritation at something your partner does, says, or feels, complete these two steps:
Step 1: Change your state of mind. Go for a swim, exercise, take a shower, whatever.
If both of you are frustrated, then both of you should change your state of mind before going to Step 2.
Step 2: Discuss the problem or disagreement with your partner.
Here’s another rule to live by: It’s more important to be in love than to be right.
That’s a wrap! Now you know how to avoid the top 5 mistakes that kill attraction. I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it for you. Thanks for reading & God Bless.
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