4 Steps To Get The Ring Without The Run Around
I decided it was unfair to share Jedi dating tactics with men exclusively. In an effort to bring balance to the force, this will be the first of several articles showing women how to get the man and relationship they truly desire. Here we go…
Step 1: Master Responsibilities
Let’s start with a list of Responsibilities. When it comes to dating, men and women have separate lists of responsibilities.
This is important because doing even one of the things on a man’s list could end a relationship before it has a chance to get started.
Here are some of the items on HIS responsibility list:
– Initiate relationship conversations by asking questions like, “So, what are we?”
Even if you whisper a question like this, here’s what it feels like to a man:
Next on his list…
– Ask about the status of the relationship
– Ask for a definition of the relationship
– Make excessive communications by phone, text, email, or social media
– Sit around waiting for a call, text, email, or DM
– Assume exclusivity before getting a commitment
– Assume you’re in a relationship before getting a commitment
– Assume the true feelings of the person you are dating before the person actually says the words
Again, you will NEVER do these things.
Your list includes:
– Having fun
– Being your best self – whatever that is for you
– Creating the circumstances for him to eagerly complete the items on his list
– And enjoying life!
Step 2: Prevent Settling
Having options prevents settling. Options also make you more confident, and therefore, more attractive. So meet and date men until you find your knight in shining armor.
The above image depicts a “Prospecting Funnel” to filter through suitors.
– At the top you have all men.
– Then filter them down to guys you want to date.
– Then filter further to guys you’re interested in and want to spend more time with.
– The last filter removes everyone except for guys you want a relationship with.
Filtering is based on your requirements, values, standards, and qualifications.
How to add prospects to your funnel...
Imagine shopping at a grocery store, when suddenly you notice this hot guy (your Prince Charming) walking towards you.
What you gonna do?
Don’t freak out. You have several options:
Option 1: You could do nothing – like you usually do 😉
Option 2: You could attract him, so he approaches you.
Option 3: You could approach him… You could just step to him.
Does the thought of approaching a handsome man intimidate you? If so, you’re putting too much importance on the outcome.
You’re just being friendly. You’re not begging for his acceptance. What’s the worst that can happen?
He could ignore you, he could talk to you, or he could be a jerk.
If he’s a jerk, you can’t polish a turd. Hair can be cut, clothes can be changed, and weight can be lost.
But if you think you can change the inside, that’s some World Class turd polishing.
Let’s talk about using Option 3 and what I call The Rejection Free Approach.
There are a million reasons a guy may not approach you…
And many of them have nothing to do with you.
With a Rejection Free Approach, you can make the first move without fear of rejection. So you’re not stuck waiting for him to do it.
Here’s how it works…
It can be the lamest pickup line in history. It doesn’t matter. You’re not asking him out. You’re just being friendly.
Have some standard approaches in mind before going out so when you come across a guy you want to meet, you don’t struggle to find something to say.
You can use the same one every time. Guys will never know.
Ask a question, like:
– Hey, do you go to my gym?
– Did you go to my high school?
– Can you take a picture of me and my friend?
OR ask him to hold something for you (an umbrella or jacket) while you get something out of your purse.
If he doesn’t continue the conversation after your approach, you can.
If he doesn’t close at the end of the conversation, you can… Without looking desperate or needy.
By “close” I mean exchange contact information or schedule a second meeting so you can move him through your Prospecting Funnel.
Step 3: Get Him To Commit
As you know, one of the responsibilities on your list is to create the circumstances for him to eagerly complete the items on his list.
You can accomplish this by doing one thing… Leave.
When you’re on a date, you’re both having a great time, and the date hits a climax… Leave.
When you meet for coffee and things start to heat up… Leave.
When you’re on a phone call and the conversation starts getting really good… End the call.
When you’re texting and it starts getting really interesting… Stop texting.
End all meet-ups, dates, calls, and text communications at the Height Of Excitement.
Always leave or end communication on a high note. Leave him wanting more.
There’s no need to explain where you’re going, what you’re doing, or who you’re with.
If he asks, say, “I didn’t realize we were dating each other exclusively. Should we talk about it?”
In addition to leaving, limit your availability.
Don’t answer your phone or immediately return his texts for the first several weeks of dating.
Spend a max of 3 hours with him at one time. Spend a max of 1 hour on the first date if you met him online.
Until he commits, he gets a max of 1-2 dates weekly, preferably during the week. Keep your weekends for yourself.
If done correctly, you’ll have him begging to spend time with you!
Yes, you leave early and your availability is limited. But when you are around you’re fun to hang out with, you have a cool attitude, and there is zero relationship pressure. You are like Disneyland dating for dudes.
Step 4: Get Him To Propose
After you’re in a committed relationship, the next step is getting him to take a knee.
Please don’t assume you’re in a committed relationship. “Assuming you’re in a relationship before getting a commitment” is on the man’s responsibility list.
He makes assumptions like this, not you.
Also, he can’t just say the words. To be in a relationship his words, his actions, and your intuition must all confirm his commitment!!!
As a woman, there are a unique set of benefits you bring to a relationship… Like affection, time, and attention, for example.
Managing the availability of these benefits is the key to getting a proposal…
Here are his benefits while dating: Smiling at him, flirting, hugging, talking dirty, dancing with him, kissing on the cheek. With the following restrictions: limited time, limited attention, no weekends, no spending the night, leave at the Height of Excitement. If asked, tell him you’re not comfortable sharing any other benefits until you’re in a committed relationship.
His benefits once you’re in a committed relationship: All dating benefits plus kissing on the lips, more time, more attention, weekends ok, still no spending the night, Height of Excitement restriction lifted. If asked, tell him you’re not comfortable sharing any other benefits until you’re married.
A 12-month time restriction also applies. If he doesn’t propose within 12 months, time to move on.
Marriage benefits: After marriage, all benefits are available and there are no restrictions. Now, and only now, you can live together, have sex, and have children. Yes, you can finally spend the night!
One last important suggestion: Please feel free to intuitively adjust ANYTHING above. Just be sure to adjust according to Intuitive Guidance EXCLUSIVELY!
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